ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
