Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize