I wannas sexs uuuuu
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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