Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
third nipple confirmed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize