I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
