She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
