fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize