Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
