6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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