I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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