my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
