Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
