dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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