not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize