Betty ford says i'm here all night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
