You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
