In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
How does one acquire holy water?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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