About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he quoted the bible to break up with me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize