sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
