She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
