when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
