Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
