The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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