i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
