We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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