Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
