we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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