he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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