Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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