His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
