I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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