i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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