You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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