But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
