margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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