Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
