better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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