mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
