did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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