watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
