I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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