There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
