How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
