worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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