Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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