She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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