im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
