Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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