Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
