Sponge bath it is.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We're not piercing ourselves today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
They have beer where we have blood.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize