he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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