wakey wakey hands off snakey
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
