worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
