You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
