so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
