She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
