In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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