I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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