I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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