BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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