I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
