I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
