Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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