Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
