I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
where am i from again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
