Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize