I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
